Posted on November 8th, 2018 in Betrayal Trauma, Growth, Mindset, Recovery, Self love

Shifting my mindset has been such an important part of my healing and growing journey. ?

I consider myself a recovering pessimist.  Ya’ know the type of person who plans for the worst but hopes for the best?

I’ve discovered that mindset actually determines our successes and failures. If we believe we can heal, we will.  If we believe we can’t heal, we won’t.  Regardless of what we are healing from (family of origin, trauma, low self esteem …) our mindset will be impacted.  Our mindset was created as a culmination of all these lived experiences.  ♲

When I was in college, the professor gave us an exercise.  We had to listen for our negative self talk and challenge it.  I listened.  Then I listened some more.  Others in the class were discussing their negative self talk while I was coming to the conclusion that I mustn’t have any.  It’s almost embarrassing to admit how long it took me to catch that negative self talk (multiple classes) but when I did … it was surprising! And painful.  I was a bully.  I bullied myself all day everyday. ? It took me so long to catch this because it was soooooo ingrained in my everyday thinking.  It was second nature.

 

Luckily, we can train the brain and change our mindset to be more positive & loving.  Our brain is like a muscle and it can be exercised.  ?? Changing our thoughts and perceptions will change our feelings about the world around us.  When we think better, we feel better, and when we feel better, we do better. Thank goodness.

So how do you change your mindset?

Make a choice to see the glass half full.  ? Cliche, I know.  But it is a choice.  I can choose to build happiness and take responsibility for my emotions and my life.  This doesn’t condone other people’s bad behaviour … it just takes us to the next step … what now?  Someone hurt you.  Someone did something bad.  Now what?  How do I chose to look at this experience?

Will this event or experience determine my future? 

Or will I take control of my thoughts and understand it was never really about me to begin with.  Hurt people hurt people.   If we hang on to this hurt though, we can’t prosper.  Instead, take all the love ❤️ you feel for your best friend, a parent, your child, and take it and give it to yourself. 

Shower yourself with all the love you have to give.  Be gentle with yourself, be kind to yourself.

We can stay in the mindset of broken or we can change our mindset to reflect growing. 

I chose growing. 

Go forward and live life as if you deserve happiness, success, love, and joy just by being here on this planet. 

Even if you’ve made mistakes, been unkind, been imperfect – you still deserve all the goodness life has to offer.  Believe it.  ??‍♀️ Make a commitment to try to challenge existing negative thought patterns daily.  Trying to challenge our negative thoughts can help change our perspective. It’s normal to have negative or painful thoughts, just don’t unpack and live there. ?

Just because you’ve always thought this way or always held these limiting belief’s about yourself…. doesn’t mean it can’t be changed.  When you catch yourself criticizing – stop. Try to focus on that inner voice that’s talking in the background all day long and correct it to reflect love and acceptance.

If you’re interested check out Louise Hay. Listening to her positive affirmations have been healing.  Surround yourself with positivity, like your life depends on it.  Because it does.

Change is about progress, not perfection. That’s been a difficult but rewarding lesson and I’m learning to create a new mindset while loving myself each step of the way. ☮️

You’ve got this.

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