Posted on November 16th, 2018 in Betrayal Trauma, Growth, Recovery, Self love

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” ― Paul Coelho

Whenever we experience something traumatic or life changing it can feel like our life has been tossed in the air and we aren’t quite sure where or how it will land.  One thing is for sure, life won’t be the same.  I think sometimes we end up focusing so hard on the fact it won’t be the same, we assume it will be for the worse.

However, there is another side to pain called post traumatic growth.  It’s what happens when we take the lemons ?? we’ve been given & make lemonade. 

Check out Beyonce’s album titled “Lemonade” for a literal & figurative example of this.  If you follow pop culture you know Jay-Z cheated on Beyonce.  Beyonce at some point, made a choice to take this painful experience and use it to empower herself.  The album reflects the different stages of grief after experiencing betrayal trauma. The album also demonstrates post traumatic growth, healing, & empowerment. ?? 

It’s my belief that we are born these perfect little souls and over the next 20 + years we’re told by good meaning people like our parents, teachers, neighbours, peers, media, coaches etc… what we should be, how we should look, think, like, & be. As humans, we want to be loved & accepted so we try to be all these things to all these people.

We try to fit into that one-size-fits-all box. ??

What happens when we don’t fit?How could we all fit?When we try to fit & fail, we start to develop negative core beliefs that tell us we’re not good enough. This thought lives in our subconscious impacting every decision we make going forward.

That’s why I find the above Paul Coelho quote so impactful.

Instead of trying to become anything … try to get back in touch with you, try unbecoming.

Remember or discover who you were before all the noise.  Know your authentic, special, imperfect, self is good enough just the way it is.  You deserve love, respect, happiness, and success. Strip away all the layers of expectation and failure to discover the imperfect wonderfulness of just being you.

Don’t let what hurt you define you.  Keep fighting for you and your happiness.

Realizing we have the power to change is a gift. How will you use yours?

You’ve got this.❤️

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