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Posted on September 20th, 2018 in Articles

Healing looks and feels different for each of us.  

Have you ever experienced the death of a loved one?  The feelings associated with discovering that your partner is a sex addict can be quite similar.  Many partners report feeling like they are cycling through the stages of grief. 


Because that’s exactly what happens!  We are grieving the loss of the relationship we thought we had.  We are grieving the loss of the person we thought our partner was. To an extent, the marriage we thought we had is gone.  It’s dead.

It gets better if we do the work necessary to take care of our own healing.  Our own discovery-recovery.

How do we know when we are starting to heal?  What does the road to recovery look like?  

It may look something like this:

  • Reach out for help.
  • Accepts that we can’t do this on our own.
  • Takes ownership & accountability of own healing journey.
  • Accesses tools, resources & supports. 
  • Realizes & believes that the addiction has nothing to do with us.  
  • Understands addiction has nothing to do with how smart, funny, or sexy we are. 
  • Practices self care.
  • Becomes informed.
  • Doesn’t micro-manage the addicts recovery.
  • Discovers boundaries & actively uses them.
  • Begins to empathize & understand their loved one’s illness. This does not excuse bad behaviour on the addicts part.
  • Is aware of our own triggers and develops a safety plan.
  • Begins to cultivate gratitude.
  • Accepts that we have no control over anyone else, only how we chose to respond.

Add your thoughts and comments below. Dialogue leads to shared information and information is power.  

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