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Posted on October 11th, 2018 in Articles, Sex Addiction

1️⃣ Lower Your Expectations

If you have recently discovered that your loved one is a sex addict … it usually comes with the discovery that they have been doing a whole bunch of things that have shocked & shattered your heart. We don’t know how our bodies & minds will respond to crisis until we are in it. Some may feel the need to keep moving & feel the need to clean their home. Others may not be able to move off the couch.  Whatever your traumatic response is … go easy on yourself. There is no right or wrong here. Just know, your normal routine might have to be put on hold. ⬇

2️⃣ Treat Yourself

Buy yourself that fancy coffee or manicure, whatever cheers you up & helps you feel good. You deserve it. ☕️ ??

3️⃣ Do Something Soothing

Your system is in crisis mode and you may be experiencing symptoms such as shaking, painful ruminating thoughts, bouts of crying etc… Do something to help counter the traumatic impact like taking a warm bath with epsom salts & lavender. If the budget allows, go for a massage to bring the chronic level of stress down. ? ??‍♀️

4️⃣ Listen to Music

Get out your favourite playlist – remove triggering songs FIRST! Even playing some zen music in the background will help to calm your nervous system. ? ?? ?️️

5️⃣ Move Your Body When You Can

No pressure, rest when you need it and when you’re ready – move that body.  Yoga will compliment the soothing of the nervous system. But if you’re a runner … run!  If you like weights … lift!  You will feel stronger and more connected to yourself. ?️‍♀️ ??‍♀️ ??‍♀️

6️⃣ Get Outside & Into Nature

Going for a walk in the woods or near water can have a soothing impact on the body & mind. Find a scenic place to walk or bike ride or kick a  soccer ball. Take time to absorb the fresh air & scenery. ? ?

7️⃣ Find a Counsellor/Therapist

Choose a counsellor with knowledge of sex addiction & that’s trained in betrayal trauma. Just like shoe shopping … you need to find the right fit. A trained counsellor is going to help you transition through the crisis period straight through to healing. ?? ??‍?

8️⃣ Watch a Comedy

But stay away from intense dramas or romance. You want to watch something in opposition of what you are feeling to help restore balance. ?

9️⃣ Talk to a Trusted Friend or Family Member

Sharing your pain with someone who will care can have a therapeutic effect. Find someone who is empathetic not sympathetic. ? 

? Get Help.

The instinct might be to hide and hermit. That may be ok short term while you digest this information  but it can lead to isolation & depression. If you need help, ask for it & use it! That is true strength. ❤

It’s ok to not be ok right now. xx

Please share in the comments what works for you … it could help the next person reading this.

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