Dear 10-Year-Old Self,
Although I know that we can’t turn back the clock,
I am writing this note to you from my 44-year-old self, hoping that we can turn around our thoughts and feelings.
You are a clever girl but are not aware of how complex this world is, or how much of an influence our childhood and ‘family of origin’ can have on our lives as we learn, grow, and develop into our future selves.
During this past year, I have been fortunate enough to begin a journey of self-discovery which has enlightened me greatly.
With the knowledge I now have, and as the mother of wonderful daughters,
I would like to say a few things to you which I wish I could have known 34 years ago.
- You are uniquely special
- You are enough just the way you are
- You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone
- Adults are older, but not always right. Please don’t be afraid to consider right from wrong
- If you ever feel uncomfortable with another person, or with yourself, please know that you can say something. Ask for help exploring your feelings. It is okay to feel and talk about those feelings.
- Love is not something you have to earn. You have the right to be loved just for who you are, not because of how you look or behave.
- Love yourself first. Learn to listen to yourself, trust yourself and your instincts.
- Anything which makes you question who you are in a negative way, or belittles your inner voice, is not love. Real love is kind, caring and safe.
- I am sorry I did not know these things as we embarked on our journey together. Consequently, I made choices which were not right or safe for you. I did not treat you with the respect you deserve.
- Please know I will live the rest of my life in a way which honors all of the above, enabling us to heal, strengthen, and flourish.
Always be true to yourself ?
– Written by C.D. and shared with permission.