I wish I could give you a standardized checklist. 

But I can’t.  

Recovery is different for everyone and timelines vary depending on the individual.  

What I can share is a general idea of what recovery may look and feel like.  If your partner is in true recovery, you should be able to recognize changes & improvements over time.  Some things to look for are listed below.

✅  Takes responsibility for recovery ie: making & attending recovery related appointments (Therapist/Group Support/Doctor)

✅  Willingness to be open & transparent ie: no more passcodes

✅  Steadily improving communication skills ie: learning to communicate in a healthy way using “I Statements”

✅  Improved emotional intelligence ie: ability to communicate feelings and ideas clearly

✅  Ability to share insights from recovery work 

✅  Improved empathy ie: helping you with your difficult emotions

✅  Displayed patience and understanding

✅  Ability to be truly present & connected

✅  Improved non-sexual intimacy

✅  Takes ownership of past behaviours & expresses remorse

✅  Develops awareness of triggers 

✅  Creates a safety plan for when triggered

✅  Is utilizing opportunities to rebuild trust