I wish I could give you a standardized checklist.
But I can’t.
Recovery is different for everyone and timelines vary depending on the individual.
What I can share is a general idea of what recovery may look and feel like. If your partner is in true recovery, you should be able to recognize changes & improvements over time. Some things to look for are listed below.
✅ Takes responsibility for recovery ie: making & attending recovery related appointments (Therapist/Group Support/Doctor)
✅ Willingness to be open & transparent ie: no more passcodes
✅ Steadily improving communication skills ie: learning to communicate in a healthy way using “I Statements”
✅ Improved emotional intelligence ie: ability to communicate feelings and ideas clearly
✅ Ability to share insights from recovery work
✅ Improved empathy ie: helping you with your difficult emotions
✅ Displayed patience and understanding
✅ Ability to be truly present & connected
✅ Improved non-sexual intimacy
✅ Takes ownership of past behaviours & expresses remorse
✅ Develops awareness of triggers
✅ Creates a safety plan for when triggered
✅ Is utilizing opportunities to rebuild trust